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Ross
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Taft
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Ben
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Shorr
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Dan
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NL
East
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1. Atlanta
2. New York
3. Florida
4. Philadelphia
5. Washington
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1. Atlanta
2. Florida
3. Philadelphia
4. New York
5. Washington
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1. Atlanta
2. Florida
3. New York
4. Philadelphia
5. Washington
You can’t fuck with history and the Braves have a
500-pound Gorilla named "The Last 13 Years" in their corner. The
Marlins look like the same balance of pitching, speed/defense, and some
boppers that have helped them win before. My gut says the Phillies are
better than the Mets, but then my other gut (it's hard being part cow) says
you can't put any team with Beltran and Pedro fourth. Finally, you can put
a slapped around crackwhore in a penthouse, put her in a pretty new dress
and give her a new
pimp who promises to "treat her reeaaalll good,
baby". (Possibly the pimp looks like Keith David) But guess what? She'll still suck
as hard as she did before. Now go back and put the word 'Expos' in place of
'crackwhore' and that whole rant makes sense. Except for the whole Keith
David thing, but hey, what's an e-mail with out a little Keith David.
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1. Atlanta
2. Florida
3. Philadelphia
4. New York
5. Washington
Can't bet against the Braves, you just can't. Florida
has clearly improved on offense with Delgado, Cabrera's only getting
better, but their pitching is thinner. Philly still has pop, but
their window of opportunity seems to have passed, and Wagner ain't getting
any younger. You heard it hear first, the Mets are going to be bad
after Pedro gets hurt. "Vinny Castilla leads Nationals to World
Series" is the headline if we lived on Bizarro World.
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1. Florida
2. Atlanta
3. Philadelphia
4. New York
5. Washington
I just feel like this is the year the Braves' stupid
luck finally runs out. Any of
those top four could win
the East, though.
If not for the Nats I'd say it's the most balanced right now.
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NL Central
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1. Chicago
2. St. Louis
3. Houston
4. Cincinnati
5. Milwaukee
6. Pittsburgh
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1. St. Louis
2. Chicago
3. Houston
4. Pittsburgh
5. Milwaukee
6. Cincinnati
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1. Chicago
2. St. Louis
3. Houston
4. Cincinnati
5. Milwaukee
6. Pittsburgh
The Cards may have to best 2-3-4 hitters in the
NL but they took a lot of hits in the off-season. They did get Mulder, but
he has been on a decline. They are a lot of offense and little defense. If
they take a hit to, say, Pujols, they are on thin ice. The Cubs need to
hang and make some good trades. The Astros took the hardest hit in the
offseason. Bagwell is declining, Berkman is hurt, and Biggio --though he
may look like the eternal 12-year-old-- is much older. The Reds picked up
some depth
in pitching, which should help them after Griffey hurts
himself. What the fuck were
the Brewers thinking? "We are a small market team with few strengths.
One of those is are all-star closer. Hmmmm. TRADE! TRADE HIM NOW! Pish
posh, good closers grow on trees. We'll be fineeeeeeee." Wilson may be
the dreamiest surfer ever to play right field, but not even his Samson
locks can carry the Pirates. The loss of Kendall will hurt.
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1. Chicago
2. St. Louis
3. Houston
4. Cincinnati
5. Milwaukee
6. Pittsburgh
I think this might be one of the better divisional races
this year. So much depends on injury though, and I don't think the
Astros will have enough to really contend. However, look what they
did last year. They, like the Marlins the year before (and the 2003
Cubs as well), serve as great inspiration. Reds will be okay, but are
still clearly second division. What are the chances of the Cubs picking up
Wily Mo or Kearns?
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1. St. Louis
2. Chicago
3. Houston
4. Milwaukee
5. Cincinnati
6. Pittsburgh
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NL West
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1. Los Angeles
2. San Diego
3. San Francisco
4. Arizona
5. Colorado
|
1. San Francisco
2. Los Angeles
3. San Diego
4. Arizona
5. Colorado
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1. San Francisco
2. Los Angeles
3. Arizona
4. San Diego
5. Colorado
I don't know. I just switched things up to be
different.
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1. San Francisco
2. San Diego
3. Los Angeles
4. Arizona
5. Colorado
This is a crapshoot. Dodgers lack pitching, yet
they should have enough in Dodger Stadium. I don't understand how
they plan on scoring runs without Beltre. I think Padres will
surprise, but not that much. The Giants’ outfield will be fun to watch, as
in Keystone Kop fun to watch. Only sure thing is that the Rockies
suck a fat cock. They have a good chance to be worst in the league
next year.
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1. San Francisco
2. Los Angeles
3. San Diego
4. Arizona
5. Colorado
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AL East
|
1. New York
2. Boston
3. Baltimore
4. Toronto
5. Tampa Bay
|
1. New York
2. Boston
3. Baltimore
4. Toronto
5. Tampa Bay
|
1. New York
2. Boston
3. Baltimore
4. Toronto
5. Tampa Bay
So, not only do the Yankees (Team Steroid) have a
house line up: Matsui, Shefield, A-Rod, Jeter. But now they have the most
dominent pitcher in the AL, and a solid rotation. The Red Sox are just as
strong, if not stronger then last year but not as strong as the Yanks. The
O's are fucked. They will never make a World Series, they could make the
playoffs, maybe as a wild card if the Bo-Sox collapse. Their best bet is to
hire a hitman and kill Steinbrenner. Hope the next owner wants to make
money
and stay below the salary cap.
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1. Boston
2. New York
3. Baltimore
4. Toronto
5. Tampa Bay
You heard it hear first bitches. The Yankees will
implode once Rivera goes down injured. Pavano and Wright will post
5.00-ERAs as Randy Johnson has a stellar season. Sheffield's arm
falls off, Tino Martinez places a curse on the team after being awoken from
his thousand-year slumber, and Giambi's pituitary explodes, burning half of
Jeter's face. Jeter becomes a recluse underneath Yankee Stadium,
playing the organ at night and pining for his lost love. A-Rod puts
up A-Rod numbers, but Steinbrenner gets so enraged when the Yankees are
swept by Boston in Yankee Stadium that he kills A-Rod in a lover's
quarrel. Covered in blood and mumbling something about luxury taxes,
Steinbrenner is never seen again as he boards a ship set for the Island of
Lost Souls. Years later a homeless man in a distinctive blue blazer
is seen at the grave of St. Rodriguez outside of the New Yankee Stadium
built on the site of the old Twin Towers. Passersby will remark that
he mentioned something about the YES network before spraypainting “Jeter 4
EVA” on A-Rod's tombstone. Some other teams play in this division.
They will do stuff as well, but the Orioles will suck, Toronto is going to
suck, and the Rays will suck hard. Suck suck suck. Matt Clement
wins AL Cy Young.
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1. New York
2. Boston
3. Baltimore
4. Toronto
5. Tampa Bay
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AL Central
|
1. Chicago
2. Minnesota
3. Cleveland
4. Detroit
5. Kansas City
|
1. Minnesota
2. Chicago
3. Cleveland
4. Detroit
5. Kansas City
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1. Minnesota
2. Chicago
3. Tigers
4. Cleveland
5. Kansas City
Although, The Royals signed this new guy who is
supposed to have a break out year. I'm telling you guys, AL Rookie, Silver
Slugger, Gold Glove, wo wo Cy Young? I'm telling Matt Stairs in the future.
Again, you can’t fuck with history with the Twins. The White Sox have good
pitching, but they built this tiny ballpark and then decided to throw out
their power.
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1. Minnesota
2. Chicago
3. Detroit
4. Chicago
5. Kansas City
Twins should win this division based on the fact that
they play most of their games in this division. I think the ChiSox
are in for a long summer, especially as the Cubs go 162-0 this year.
Indians should be okay, but who knows? Everyone has questions, except
for Royals, who clearly just suck a fat cock, but not the one the Rockies
suck.
|
1. Minnesota
2. Chicago
3. Tigers
4. Cleveland
5. Kansas City
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AL West
|
1. Anaheim/Los
Angeles/Whatever
2. Texas
3. Oakland
4. Seattle
|
1. Anaheim/Los
Angeles/Whatever
2. Oakland
3. Texas
4. Seattle
|
1. Anaheim/Los
Angeles/Whatever
2. Seattle
3. Oakland
4. Texas
I dont know, toss the dice. The A's dealt away
all their pitching and the Ichiros made some good pick ups so....who gives
a fuck. None of them are making the playoffs.
|
1. Anaheim/Los
Angeles/Whatever
2. Texas
3. Oakland
4. Seattle
I think the A's are going to be better than
expected. Their offense is improved, and their pitching isn't bad,
just inexperienced. Angels clearly are best team, even without
Guillen, but will be injury prone. Rangers still don't have the
pitching, and Richie "I hurt my arm swinging. TWICE!" Sexson will
go down as one of the most unfortunate free agent singings in recent
history, after Chan Ho Park.
|
1. Anaheim/Los
Angeles/Whatever
2. Texas
3. Oakland
4. Seattle
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